Today was hard.

Today was HARD. As a result of Olivia’s PFV, she developed a cataract in her Nemo eye. In order to give her the best chance to regain some of her vision, the lens in her eye was surgically removed at just 3 months old. Since her lens was removed, Olivia must wear an artificial lens in her Nemo every day in order to let the most light in, protect her eye and give her eye the most stimulation. We have to take the lens out once every week, let her eye breath over night and then put it back in the next morning. When we first started taking the lens in and out of her eye, it was a piece of cake! Sure, she would squirm a bit – no one wants someone poking them in the eye! But we could get the lens in and out with very few tears and within a 5 minute period.

Those days..are OVER.

Now, at 9 months, Olivia has caught on. She doesn’t want us taking the lens out! She hates us putting our fingers by her eye. We have had to resort to holding down our beautiful, sweet daughter and prying her eye open in order to get the lens out. We know that taking the little piece of medical plastic out of her eye is necessary. We know that it is what is best for her. But holding her arms and legs down, and looking at that little face stare at us and just cry is excruciating. Dan and I have learned that she can smell fear and frustration. She knows that after our 17th attempt at getting the lens out we are so frustrated ,which in turn, makes her frustrated and even more upset. She is one strong willed little warrior and does whatever she can to get out of the situation she is in.

Today, we had to hold her down for 10 whole minutes. We had to watch her cry until she tired out enough that we could get her eye open just a little bit more and pull that lens out. We both walked out of the room and took turns trading off with Olivia to just cry and let it out. It is one of the hardest parts about our new normal. But we are know this contact lens is helping her in more ways than we can count and our little rock star keeps that thing in all week without rubbing at it.

Every time we work with the lens we get a little bit better at it. We know to keep that smile plastered on our faces no matter how mad we get because she knows when we arE not having fun anymore. We have learned to keep BeeBoo on and by her face to keep her even a little distracted. And we have learned that sometimes, the Puppy Pals theme song can keep her attention just long enough for us to swoop in, grab that contact and get out.

But some days. Some days are just HARD.